Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Upside of Infertility

"Mom, where do babies come from?" 

It's a question most parents dread. Fortunately, for couples like us, the answer is much simpler:

"Well, the doctor, of course!"  

Or for adopting couples, the answer might be:

"That big office building across town" 
"Arkansas"
"China"
"The Internet"

Where else would babies come from...for couples like us? Really, it's not much different than the "stork" story. If only it actually happened that easily. At least it's easier to explain to a child how babies come from the doctor than to explain "the birds and the bees." No need for any awkward hesitation or beating around the bush...Oh, don't you envy us now? :)


Well, in case you're wondering exactly where babies do come from for people like us, here's one mom's explanation from Still Standing Magazine at http://stillstandingmag.com/2012/06/the-talk/. I'd have to say, this is the condensed version (the real story takes months and years, and more than a couple of awkward doctors visits, shots in the rear, and hormonal freak-outs)...But, it's so true, I can't help laughing!

"...When two people really love each other, they get in the care, drive down to the clinic, and meet with a nice doctor to discuss their options. The doctor will then take the woman into a room with several students awkwardly watching, and use a large magic wand to look inside her belly, while the man tries not to pass out from embarrassment. Later, the man will be given a large plastic cup and told to go to a room at the end of the hall...While she is waiting for [the man] to finish, the woman gets the joy of reading as many out of date magazines as she wants in the waiting room. After that, every day at the same time, the man will show the woman how much he loves her by shooting her in the rear with a large needle...and the woman will try not to [go absolutely crazy and bite his head off for every little thing]...A few months later, when her rear end is black and blue, her ovaries are the size of grapefruits, and her arms are covered in enough track marks from the daily blood draws to warrant an intervention, the man and women will get back in the car, drive to the clinic, and see the nice doctor with a magic wand who will put a baby into her belly, making her a mommy...

"And that is where babies come from."

4 comments:

  1. I love the graphic. Thanks for the optimism and laugh today.

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  2. Hilarious!!! Yep, my 3 year old definitely thinks babies come from Arkansas. :)

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  3. My wife and I enjoyed your post. The humor was great! It is good to have a bright outlook on things and be able to laugh. :)

    We have no children yet. I say it is because they don't want to be embarrassed by me when they are teenagers.

    We miss you guys... Have you been to Arkansas lately?

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