Saturday, December 10, 2011

Life is Precious

I'm not really a "Today Show" fan, but I caught part of a story on my way out the door the other morning. One of the news anchors was interviewing an OBGYN about the emotional effects of miscarriage, in light of the fact that Michelle Duggar (mother of 19) had just lost her 20th child at 19 weeks. I was heart broken for her. I don't care how many children she has, losing a child during pregnancy is very painful for any woman, no matter her situation.

But I'm even more heart broken to think of all the women who voluntarily choose to miscarry through abortion. If the Today Show can acknowledge that a miscarriage is indeed a painful loss for any mother-to-be, why is it taboo to say that abortion is also a loss of life, and is therefore a tragic choice?

Tragically - and ironically - people tend to minimize the seriousness of abortion, just as they do miscarriage, perhaps to spare these women any additional pain. But this doesn't do anyone any good. We lose millions of lives to abortion every year (abortion facts here) - Millions of our rising generation are being snuffed out before their births. And women who lose a child during pregnancy can't help feeling a deep sense of loss for the life that might have been lived.

Isn't life precious? It's truly a miracle. Left - 20 wks (Michelle Duggar was at 19 wks); Right - 8 wks ( I was at 9)

A while ago, I tried to talk about what to say to women who have lost a child during pregnancy, but I didn't do a very good job. I think I came off bitter, and I'm sorry - Please know I'm not bitter, but - a year later - I am still coping with a sense of loss. Maybe it can't be understood unless you've experienced it, but I'm going to make a second attempt to offer some advice, because I think it's important. Not for myself, but because I know what it feels like, and I understand what other women are going through and what they need to hear.

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Really, it all comes down to taking a woman's loss seriously. So the pressure is off! Don't worry about offering theories or trying to find a positive side. All you have to do is be there for her, whether she brings it up or if you want to bring it up. See, it's simple. :)

Also, it's okay to cry about it and laugh about it. I'm not always good at that, but here are a couple people who are:

Like I said, I'm not a Today Show fan, but here's a great blog post they cited in their story, which offers 5 helpful things to say. Here's the author's profile, too. Amazing.

And here's a blog post we can all laugh about from my friend Lara about infertility, which I think goes hand in hand. She does a beautiful job busting some myths you might've heard before.

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I hope you don't mind that I keep bring all of this up, but it's my reality for now. Keep up the comments - I love them!

- Jenny

1 comment:

  1. Jenny,

    I also miscarried. It was very hard and the emotions that came with it were ones that no one can expect or plan for, but very real. I often found comfort when talking with others who miscarried, versus those who had never had that happen. It's hard to understand something, or give advice about something to others that you have never experienced. Thank you for your blogpost. I hope that others realize more the importance and magnitude of choosing abortions takes.

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